Yeah, that vampire movie
Mar. 30th, 2009 03:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
faegeAlright, I admit it, I deliberately abstained from watching it in theaters because I didn't want to be associated with the squealing throngs of fangirls. Is it wrong to not want to be pelted with popcorn every time the fifteen year old next to you goes into shock when Edward Cullen appears on screen? I didn't think so. So I waited until "Twilight" could be rented and then watched it in the safety of my room--no popcorn-toting fangirls, just me and a few friends ready to laugh our heads off at the corny lines, unnecessary slow-motion shots, and the way Bella and Edward stare longingly into each other's eyes for no reason at all.
As far as appearances go, I was disappointed. I understood the whole color scheme with everything being overcast and the Cullens wearing icy tones to reflect their vampire-ness, but the whole Cullen clan seemed more plastic than anything else. Sure, their faces were perfect--because they didn't move a muscle. It was like if any of them had an expression their faces might crack and fall off. Edward mumbles everything like he has a mouth full of mashed potatoes. None of them smile, really. But neither do they frown. They send shifty glances to each other and that's about it.
This whole dead-face-nerves thing might be forgiven if it was a deliberate contrast to the life and warmth Bella spreads. Except, she doesn't. Her hair is a pretty color, which is a good focus because it's talked about so often in the book. But what about how she blushes all the time? Bella is supposed to be full of warmth and blood and laughter and blushing--the whole reason Edward wants to keep her alive. Instead, Kristen Stewart looks as corpse-like as the Cullens, except her Crayola-looking lipstick isn't as dark as theirs. Her makeup in general is horrendous in the beginning but gets doable toward the middle. Acting-wise, Kristen Stewart does very litte for the character. She has little to no expression--the most movement I ever saw was when she does this eye-flutter as she stutters, or when she keeps moving her mouth when she's listening to Edward. It's open--all the time. Just...close it. For a minute. Give your jaw a rest. Also, she, too, mumbled really badly. It's a bit difficult to understand the dialogue when the two main characters don't use expressions, don't enunciate, and use gravelly voices. I'll give her the vampire-poison scene--her whole twitching/gasping was really convincing without being too much.
Besides looking dead (yeah, he's a vampire, I get it), Edward was fine except for his hair (which occasionally I could handle). I did like the color. Its worst moment was in biology class--it's like he has a mushroom growing from his cranium.
As for the rest of my random observations:
Edward was the one who looked like he was in pain. (Jasper just looked like someone had jammed a nail in his foot.) And when I say pain, I don't mean it looked like he was enduring intense love-sick emotional trauma. I mean it looked like someone had forgotten to give him Vicodin after he had his wisdom teeth pulled. Or the hair on his legs was being plucked with dull tweezers. Or itching powder had been liberally applied to his clothes and he wasn't allowed to move.
Does Kristen Stewart ever smile? Ever?
Yes, I've read the book, but if viewers were watching "Twilight" with no knowledge of the book, Bella and Edward's reasons for loving each other would be...? She smells good and he's the oh-so-unavailable hottie?
Bella doesn't find it weird that all of Forks is bowing at her feet? It doesn't creep her out? At all? I understand that Stephenie Meyer experienced something like this when she went to college, but she admits that it was weird and different. She noticed it. Bella makes no such observation. She kind of stammers around, doesn't smile at anybody, doesn't say anything interesting to anyone, and yet gets invited to the beach, to prom, hit on by a bunch of guys, etc. And she doesn't say anything like, "Weird that I'm so popular all of a sudden." It's just another day in the life of Princess Swan.
The music was terrible until it got to the middle and Bella's Lullaby began to be woven in. Still, my favorite scenes (and yes, I did enjoy a few) were the ones with no dialogue and her lullaby playing.
Edward's "I like watching you sleep" line = creepy. And hilarious, when I think of all the girls who probably swooned at this heartfelt admission.
Okay, so after all the cynicism, it was an entertaining two hours. I did actually begin to enjoy it halfway through. It's just not the epic romance it was supposed to be (glad I was disillusioned from the start).
And if I had seen it in a theater, I probably would have accidentally spilled popcorn over my fellow movie-watchers too--just because I couldn't have contained the laughter.
As far as appearances go, I was disappointed. I understood the whole color scheme with everything being overcast and the Cullens wearing icy tones to reflect their vampire-ness, but the whole Cullen clan seemed more plastic than anything else. Sure, their faces were perfect--because they didn't move a muscle. It was like if any of them had an expression their faces might crack and fall off. Edward mumbles everything like he has a mouth full of mashed potatoes. None of them smile, really. But neither do they frown. They send shifty glances to each other and that's about it.
This whole dead-face-nerves thing might be forgiven if it was a deliberate contrast to the life and warmth Bella spreads. Except, she doesn't. Her hair is a pretty color, which is a good focus because it's talked about so often in the book. But what about how she blushes all the time? Bella is supposed to be full of warmth and blood and laughter and blushing--the whole reason Edward wants to keep her alive. Instead, Kristen Stewart looks as corpse-like as the Cullens, except her Crayola-looking lipstick isn't as dark as theirs. Her makeup in general is horrendous in the beginning but gets doable toward the middle. Acting-wise, Kristen Stewart does very litte for the character. She has little to no expression--the most movement I ever saw was when she does this eye-flutter as she stutters, or when she keeps moving her mouth when she's listening to Edward. It's open--all the time. Just...close it. For a minute. Give your jaw a rest. Also, she, too, mumbled really badly. It's a bit difficult to understand the dialogue when the two main characters don't use expressions, don't enunciate, and use gravelly voices. I'll give her the vampire-poison scene--her whole twitching/gasping was really convincing without being too much.
Besides looking dead (yeah, he's a vampire, I get it), Edward was fine except for his hair (which occasionally I could handle). I did like the color. Its worst moment was in biology class--it's like he has a mushroom growing from his cranium.
As for the rest of my random observations:
Edward was the one who looked like he was in pain. (Jasper just looked like someone had jammed a nail in his foot.) And when I say pain, I don't mean it looked like he was enduring intense love-sick emotional trauma. I mean it looked like someone had forgotten to give him Vicodin after he had his wisdom teeth pulled. Or the hair on his legs was being plucked with dull tweezers. Or itching powder had been liberally applied to his clothes and he wasn't allowed to move.
Does Kristen Stewart ever smile? Ever?
Yes, I've read the book, but if viewers were watching "Twilight" with no knowledge of the book, Bella and Edward's reasons for loving each other would be...? She smells good and he's the oh-so-unavailable hottie?
Bella doesn't find it weird that all of Forks is bowing at her feet? It doesn't creep her out? At all? I understand that Stephenie Meyer experienced something like this when she went to college, but she admits that it was weird and different. She noticed it. Bella makes no such observation. She kind of stammers around, doesn't smile at anybody, doesn't say anything interesting to anyone, and yet gets invited to the beach, to prom, hit on by a bunch of guys, etc. And she doesn't say anything like, "Weird that I'm so popular all of a sudden." It's just another day in the life of Princess Swan.
The music was terrible until it got to the middle and Bella's Lullaby began to be woven in. Still, my favorite scenes (and yes, I did enjoy a few) were the ones with no dialogue and her lullaby playing.
Edward's "I like watching you sleep" line = creepy. And hilarious, when I think of all the girls who probably swooned at this heartfelt admission.
Okay, so after all the cynicism, it was an entertaining two hours. I did actually begin to enjoy it halfway through. It's just not the epic romance it was supposed to be (glad I was disillusioned from the start).
And if I had seen it in a theater, I probably would have accidentally spilled popcorn over my fellow movie-watchers too--just because I couldn't have contained the laughter.
